Danny's Song

Was in the car on a long drive 8 months pregnant with my first child, and hadn't felt him kick all day. I was becoming overcome with fear. I'd gotten this old song stuck in my head earlier in the day - Kenny Loggins, Danny's Song. It had been released several years prior, and was by no means a top 40 hit at that point. The line, "You bring a tear of joy to my eyes, and tell me, everything is going to be alright" had been repeating in my mind. I don't pray, but I was starting to panic, and I thought, "if I just had a sign. If there is anything in the universe that could give me a sign to help calm me". Nothing was happening and I had this crazy thought. I will turn on the radio, and if that song is playing, I will know. I turned on the radio and there it was. I am not superstitious, but I was immediately calmed. Four years later I was pregnant with my second child. I had heard from the doctor that morning that my amniocentesis result showed a problem. They couldn't determine what it was, but my doctor told me that he had patients who had "aborted for less". I was devastated and fraught with anxiety about what to do. I managed to go to work that day, and when there I got a call that my grandmother was dying. I fainted when I got off the phone with her. When I came to, someone turned on the radio, and that very same song was playing again. Somehow I knew it would be okay. I kept the baby. He's 17. Brilliant and handsome, albeit a bit of a slacker. The real coincidence just happened a few months ago. My father died. He was agnostic, as am I. Overcome with existential depression and grief from losing him, I sat outside and looked at the stars and smoked a cigarette. As I looked up, I said, "Daddy, if you're there, please let me know". I put out my cigarette and went back inside to finish watching American Idol on tv. A young man in his 20's was walking out on stage. He sang Danny's Song.